Wedded Bliss is a lie…

Wedded bliss. People talk about it a lot to newlyweds. How it will be giggles and pure bliss. That is a lie.

It is awkward- but a good awkward. At least it is for us. But we wouldn’t have it any other way.

The following are 7 reasons why wedded bliss is more like an inelegant but fantastic start to a new way of living:

#1: Living Arrangements. Stephen and I moved in together right before the wedding. I mean like in April. This being said we were not married yet. After the wedding things were different. I guess I thought they felt different. Like it was official. Now I needed to cook him supper and be a proper homemaker. Like things were expected. The thing is most women feel like it is their duty to serve their husband a nice meal when they get married, but ummm…. isn’t it 2017. Can’t we both cook. And on that note, can’t we both clean. See that’s the thing no one tells you, you have to talk about it and figure out who does what. Now most nights I figure out supper but on occasion I tell Stephen to BBQ and give me a break, but it took a bit to figure that out.  And it turns out that he is better at cleaning than me. Who would have figured.

#2: Sex changes. I mean this is not a bad thing. But things change. You start getting more into it and have to get creative. Now Stephen and I had done the horizontal tango before our marriage but once again expectations change. I mean we are married shouldn’t we take things to the next level. And birth control was a big thing…. leading me to #3.

#3: Do we want kids now? We did… Kinda, you see I am starting a business but we wanted to have kids. Soon… So what did we do. We talked about it. We decided to wait a bit. But I decided to also adapt my lifestyle so that when the time came we would be ready.

#4: Changing of the Last Name. OMG! Nobody told me that I would have to wait to change my name. OK. Maybe in the rush to get married I was told and in hindsight didn’t listen carefully. I am still waiting to change my name. I was all set and ready to change my government identification but my officiant had sent the documents away and I had no proof of my marriage- which she had told me had I listened…. I am soon to be Mrs. Crackel but for now I go by Jacques or Crackel.

#5: Family Drama. If you get married just know that there is always family drama. Sometimes it’s misguided love and sometimes people are just difficult. Whatever the situation don’t ever let it bring you down.

#6. Difficult Friends: Now I don’t have many friends but friends are the same as family. I was reading Shonda Rimes’ book “The Year of Yes”, and she mentioned something that explains how people that see you moving forward while they are in a bad place may not share in your joy. This is a real thing. Don’t feel bad for moving forward and being happy. Then again some people are what Joel Osteen calls “peace sealers” and in that case don’t ever let someone steal your peace. Enough Said.

#7. Fighting Fair. If you are married or plan on getting married know that fighting is normal. I mean not like hitting and stuff, fighting with words. If you never fight you obviously don’t talk. Because communication involves talking about things that are not always going to be positive. They can be discussions that involve sensitive subjects and sometimes it’s not even that. Sometimes we just are not in a good mood and things annoy us. And sometimes fights get pretty intense. I will tell you a secret though. They make you stronger as a couple. The trick is to fight fair. Never and I mean never say anything that will leave lasting affects. Say constructive words to your partner, communicate needs without taking away respect and without making your spouse feel less than. You are both on the same team and when you sink the figurative boat to spite your spouse you will drown too.

 

Now I love my hubby more than anyone but it has been an adjustment. But aren’t all major changes adjustments? And since when are adjustments a bad thing. Not bad at all! Every one of those items on my list of changes that happen in a new marriage were modifications to my life, there are amazing things too. For most of them I can find things that make up for the awkwardness, and honestly isn’t marriage just one big adventure in itself. It may not be wedded bliss But I wouldn’t want to experience the crazy unexpected journey that is marriage with anyone other than Stephen. Together we can concur anything!

 

 

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